Alone this Semester

Hey, well I'm sorry to disappoint you that this post is not about our trip in Manila... because as you can see it's already been 2 months since my last post! :( ell I'll be active again, especially that I am alone again, it's pretty hard for me to keep my mouth shut for a day :)

This post is going to be a summary of what has happened to my life from after the summer holidays until now... well I'm afraid not everything is going to be beautiful, but it's worth writing them down :)

The summer holidays ended peacefully with no pain... I found it a little hard to get back to study mode,I was grateful though that they extended the summer holidays for the university because I really felt that I needed more time! (Because I had shorter holidays compared to others due to me having summer class)

I knew that this semester was not going to be the same because my girlfriend had to leave for Singapore as she had to complete an on the job training course... Well she's been gone for 2 weeks now and it feels like months to me... My first day of school went well, we had our Spanish lesson from 6 to 9 pm and the professor is very kind... It was a really fun class we had that Wednesday... Leah was still around then and I was glad to share my experience with her :) Sadly right after Wednesday I fell sick, this was due to my sinusitis, due to my sleeping late every night (3am) during the summer holidays it began to become a lot worse and started giving me migraine and it was really, really , really horrible... My head would just feel like breaking into half every time I stood up or walked around... It is also because of the extreme laughs we had during the Spanish class which triggered it to worsen...

I was absent for a week then,hopefully only 3 out of 7 professors attended the class that week and none of them checked the attendance... (PHEW!) however I was abusive the next Wednesday and I took a day off again... The reason is because Leah was leaving the next day,hopefully for me again there was a suspension of classes at 5 pm that day meaning that we had no Spanish class,however it was less fortunate for me for the 3 to 6 class as I missed it... I went to class from then on however I had to cut my Saturday class into half because my migraine began throbbing again... and I was stressed of being alone without Leah...

We're up to date with my attendance now... Well now it's time to explain how it feels being alone... Well I felt at first that everything would be fine,that I could handle myself... But once Leah left I began to feel every single things I had to do like washing the dishes or sweeping the floor... even arranging the stuff around the house... It really shocked me that when she was around I kept complaining about her being messy... But it was actually me :( (mostly)... Then the meals... I was at a comfortable pace with my allowance a week ago... Until a disconnection notice came from the Power Company (Meralco) telling me to pay or I would lose power... I had to spend all my money in paying Meralco... I had nothing left but coins in the end,and I had to hold that for three days until my allowance arrived... I had to eat biscuits and crackers for 3 days and I just drank and drank Milo to compensate the lack of nutrients... I pitied myself really... especially Leah was not here with me I felt so sad...

I have my allowance now and all my bills are paid... I'm glad... I have also bought all my books, I am still scared of being alone... I... well... I act like a child when Leah is here... she is actually fueling my energy and want to play... because she is restraining me from doing it and the more I am restrained the more I want to prove to her that I can defy her... Well now I am afraid because there is nothing to defy... So I begin to play ...well... with no rage... or no goal...no point... I end up reading a book at the end of the day... (YES!) (LOL)... There is also less distraction because I get VERY VERY easily distracted as a person...

I have already learned so many things from my professors this year... I will never forget the fact that my Experimental Psychology professor told us... With the human mind we see everything,smell everything,hear,feel and taste everything BUT out of that 100% functionality 95% is rejected and only 5% is being focused upon. This means that if someone walks and reads well it cannot be done properly at all,because only 5% can be used... I really put what he said in mind... because he made me realize that what I have been doing for the past years of my life is TOTALLY WRONG! I am really grateful to that professor.

My Literature professor whom I just met yesterday (July 2 2010) well she taught me about the difference between two people... Those who care about living and those who care about materials and she explained it to us by showing us a short video about cups and coffee... When Leah left for Singapore and she started complaining about her customers, I felt angry for her and I wished I could have done something for her... however I could not and it came to me... society has classes and society is ranked by MONEY... it really shocked me and it's actually now that I realize because lately all I cared about was playing... I totally missed the real life,that I will be graduating in 2 years... I began to feel scared... That people will look down at me in society because my job won't be giving my needs...and her needs... The video really inspired me because it explained that we do not need MONEY or MATERIAL things in life to be happy... and the people with great things are not the happiest... because in order to be happy in life... we have to do the best with what we have and be grateful for what we have and not aim for higher all the time...

Well I have already written such a long essay and I have not realized it... Maybe and hopefully... I will be fit for a journalist... I really hope that I chose the right course... I would really love to write about many other things... learn more things... I have began to think now... since I have been led out of my comfort zone... I have began communicating more with others, doing things myself... I am grateful that God gave me this opportunity to be separated from Leah during this time to give me time to mature, to see the world as lately I have really been very immature...

Well I will write nmore next time as it seems I have written too much tonight, until next time! :)